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Princess of Pain VS Spitney
Beers
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Spitney Beers blatant exploitation of Carmen
Electra’s NWWL to further her singing career has put a foul taste
in the Princess-Of-Pain’s mouth. Pain has vowed to put an end
to any little bitch’s career that thinks they can use the NWWL
as a stepping stone on to bigger and better things. At the weigh-
in press conference Spitney’s manager, Lefty Ball-Gone, stated
that his fighter may have the face of a teen pop idol, but she’s
as ferocious as a sodomized pitbull. Reporters at the conference
were stunned by Lefty’s analogy, but understood its intent. For
the wrestling fans that love to see the Clash of the Opposites,
this fight is for you. Spitney Beers, the Princess- Of-Pop, puts
her reputation to the test as she gears up for the fight of her
career!
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After School Girls VS Sisters of No Mercy
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Wrestling fans will surely
fall victim to sensory overload as they try to absorb four beautiful
naked combatants, battling it out for the title of NWWL Tag-Team
Champions! The Angels have a score to settle after a free-for
all broke out at St. Luke the Apostle High School. Angel-Of-Desire,
half of the No Mercy tag team, received a serious concussion just
before Father O’Conner broke up the fight. Tiny Tina of the After-
School-Girls slapped Desire with her tag teams patented move,
the After-School-Special. Dark Angel, along with her stand-in
tag team partner, Samantha Sixx, has vowed a bloody revenge for
her sister’s injury. The After School Girls are not shaken by
such threats. At the weigh-in, Trish The Dish stated to the hoards
of photographers, “bring it on bitch” as she stood on the weight
scale, flexing her biceps.
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Becky Brady VS Ninja Chops
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Becky Brady, the reigning Miss
Corn Dog champion, is spitting mad over a botch hairstyle that
she received at the Ninja Chops’ Beauty and Hair Salon. Tugging
at her mop-top locks, Becky Brady broke down and screamed to the
sympathetic host of the NWWL, Megan Summers, “Look what that bitch
did to my beautiful hair!” Ninja Chops defended her skills by
claiming that she is “a beautician, not a magician,” and went
on to say that “Becky’s hair style is a problem because of her
inbred hair follicles! They can’t hold a style! Her hair is stupid
like box of broken hammers!”
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Cleopatra VS Lady Serpentine
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When Cleopatra was recently
asked by NWWL Host Megan Summers about her upcoming match with
Lady Serpentine, Cleopatra replied, “nothing ... nothing at all,”
which is not surprising, since she holds a general indifference
towards all of her opponents. Cleopatra feels that all of her
past and future adversaries are not worthy to lick the soles of
her feet, which she enjoys doing after beating her rivals in order
to add further humiliation. Lady Serpentine isn’t looking to return
the humiliating favor; she’s looking to end the career of the
Beautiful Jewel of the Nile.
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Layla Hussein VS Harriet Bush
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Declared as Operation Naked
Storm, wrestling fans will be treated to the most controversial
match of all time! It’s the battle of the naked super powers!
The self proclaimed illegitimate daughter, Harriet Bush has family
score to settle with Saddam Hussein’s little girl, Layla. It seems
that this ongoing, historical feud has a birthright that runs
deep in their beautiful naked bodies. Megan Summers recently interviewed
the lovely Harriet Bush as she trained at Fort Bradley for her
upcoming match, while Harriet was sucking back a large bottle
of Orange Crush, her father contacts her with subliminal messages
in order to coach her to a certain victory! As crazy as Harriet
may sound, Layla may have questioned her involvement with the
inherited feud had she seen how Harriet worked the heavy bag in
training.
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Twin Peaks VS Wicca St. James
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The NWWL Championship title
match has been nicknamed “the Battle of the Double D’s!” Twin
Peaks, the blonde haired, blue eyed Swiss Mountain girl, takes
on the sultry hellcat, Wicca St. James for the title as NWWL Champion!In
her homeland in Switzerland, Twin Peaks developed her wrestling
skills as a little girl by challenging the farm animals that she
tended, eventually growing to fight human opponents as her skills
developed. With a fearsome reputation, and no one willing to challenge
her, Twin Peaks left her beloved Switzerland to seek out new and
worthy, nude female combatants. But will the hot tempered temptress
from Grenada be too much for the platinum hair goddess? Wrestling
fans will not want to miss a single moment of this guaranteed
action- packed title match!!
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